Marj Merges Beautiful. Honest. You. {and me}

Vulnerable

I’m currently in a spot where I feel pretty vulnerable.  I’ve offered my services up for FREE.  Yup, for FREE and I acted on the faith that someone would want them.

Luckily I won’t have to face my worst nightmare related to this contest and have to publicly admit no one wanted me.  But there was a while there I was pretty worried.  And I questioned why.  It didn’t make sense.  The only explanation I could come up with was the couple destined to win just hadn’t found the contest yet.  I held my breath for quite a while waiting for the entries to pour in.  They never have.  They’ve trickled.  But they’ve come and I can breath again.

Before that happened and I finally knew I wasn’t going to fail I wrote this entry.  I thought you might be interested to see how it feels to do something like this.  To be all consumed by something for two weeks straight and still not know if it was a crazy idea destined to fail.

What will happen if I can’t give away free photography?  I mean, seriously, that doesn’t look good.  After telling every corner of the internet I can find about the contest it would be a serious letdown to wake up the morning of March 26th and not need to put together a voting system to select the winners.

I’m doing this contest as a celebration and I don’t want to wind up crying instead because I have so publicly failed.

And telling you that I’m scared I might fail, that’s pretty scary too.  I’m not standing over here lying to your face and telling you I’m confident it’s going to turn out wonderfully.  Because I’m not.  I’d like to believe that because I am endeavoring to do a wonderfully nice thing for someone else the universe will repay me and make me successful at it.  But I can’t guarantee it.

And so I’ll be sitting on the edge of my seat over here anxiously awaiting the entries. Because I have reasons to believe they’re coming.  Do a girl a favor and send them in so I can start breathing.

And now I need to go make a survey because there just may be some voting next week after all.

Contax 645, 80mm lens, Kodak Portra 400 and Fuji Pro 400H

3 Responses to Vulnerable

  1. Amanda says:

    Marj, you are awesome. And whoever wins this contest is going to be soooooo lucky to have you. I can’t wait to hear about the winners and see your awesome photos!

  2. Kim says:

    Hi Marj,

    Hang in there! It’s tough starting out but I applaud you for putting something so wonderful out there for one lucky couple. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you and send good vibes your way!

    Kim 🙂

  3. Leslie says:

    I can only imagine how scary that may have been. I am SO glad you got some entries!! Also, LOVE the rainbow umbrella pic.

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