Marj Merges Beautiful. Honest. You. {and me}

Reflections on an end of a season

This past weekend I shot the last wedding I had on my calendar for 2011.  So with the end of my first wedding season it seemed a good time for some reflection and to post the last of the weddings I assisted at this past summer.

The pictures in this post are from a wedding I shot with David Gaston back in early July at The Sanctuary.

This whole summer started with one thought.  A thought that I wanted to pursue my dream of being a photographer.  A thought I had approximately a year ago and rather naively decided to pursue.  A thought that’s motivated me all year and continues to do so.  Sure, at this point when asked what I do I say photographer.  That’s what I am.  But it’s still this precarious thing.  This dream I’ve nurtured and really hope grows up big and strong but feels so much like a house of tiny sticks that could be easily blown over.  I want this dream.  I want it bad.  And I’m certainly doing more than hoping it comes true.  I know that much.  I have to work for it.  I have to shoot my a** off.  And still my dream might get blown over by the wind.  At least I have my stubbornness and my knowledge that there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.

When I look at my photographs over the year I can see a progression.  I can see photos that I could have done so much better.  And I think that’s good.  It’s good to know there’s actually a visual confirmation of all the work I’ve put in.  And in the end it wasn’t for nothing.  And now I have a list a mile long of what I want to learn.  If you asked me last September what I wanted to learn this year I would have simply said how to photograph.  Now I can point to specifics.  I can say the weaknesses I’ll be working on over the winter.  And I can say what I want to experiment with more.  And I can say that I still want to be a photographer.

Just as I was feeling a bit anxious with the end of my first wedding season I got bombarded with inquiries.  I’ve been jumping up and down all week and excitedly calling Eric as I get asked to photograph one awesome wedding after the next with seemingly perfect couples.  I couldn’t ask for a better end to the wedding season as I look forward to these wonderful summer 2012 weddings and maybe even one in 2013.  The winter may be a bit of a mystery but come next May I know what I’ll be doing and I couldn’t be happier.

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