Marj Merges Beautiful. Honest. You. {and me}

Stubbornness is a virtue

Recently my photography has consisted of one basic mantra: Shoot a lot and shoot all the time. Oh, and ignore the rest of my life.

Recently I’ve started to come out of my little ignore the rest of my life bubble. I’ve started to think past the internship. Started to plan things in my life that don’t just involve photography. And remind myself that I am actually more than just a photographer. I really am a wife. I really do have two cats who may have possibly forgotten about me. I really do have other interests. And started to think about how I’m going to pull this big trick of transitioning back to normal life and continuing to propel my photography career forward.

Mark (head intern as he declares) recently wrote a post about why you (meaning everyone) should give up.  Really, the path of least resistance would be to give up.  It would be easy.  I’d just stop photographing.  Convince myself I wasn’t good enough after all.

But that would be really disappointing.  For me.  At this point I’m pretty selfish.  I want to be a photographer because it’s what I want for myself.  Sure, it’s good for my husband and I if I have a job I enjoy, that I’m good at, and that also allows us to have kids and still have me work (and not pay for childcare).  And I’m also really, really stubborn.  Sometimes it’s a negative character trait.  For instance, when I argue with my husband.  That’s a time when it’s not good to be stubborn.  But when I need to forge ahead with a career I believe is what I’m meant to do in the face of all sorts of obstacles and enormous competition.  Well, I think it’s helpful to be stubborn.

Oh, and I kind of jumped off the high dive for this.  In retrospect it may have been a little foolish.  It wasn’t exactly prudent.  It certainly wasn’t something I could have done before I was married.  But I did it.  I quit my day job.  Something all the books I’ve read since have told me not to do.  Well, too late.  And I’m actually glad I did even if it may have been naive and definitely imprudent.  Because sometimes you just have to go for what you want.  And if I was still at my day job I would certainly not be here, in Atlanta, doing an internship and looking at photographing over nine weddings this year.

I was listening to e-town a couple weeks ago and the guest, Michelle Shocked, said something that resonated with me.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.  And I foraged.

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